OBAMA SELECTS ENVOY TO HAITI

by George Held on February 20, 2010

Washington, Feb. 20, 2010 (INS). President Barack H. Obama today announced his appointment of Michael D. Brown to be the United States High Commissioner for Recovery in Haiti. Mr. Brown, who previously worked for FEMA, will leave tomorrow for Port au Prince with his second in command, Michael Chertoff, former FEMA director.

In choosing Mr. Brown, the President told the White House press corps, “Like Tim Geithner at Treasury, Mike Brown brings unrivaled hands-on experience to his new job, handling this Incident of International Significance.”

Then, taking a shot at the Village Voice, which called the President “George W. Obama” last month, he claimed that Mr. Brown was another example of change for America. “Mike Brown has assured me that his heart is no longer in Arabian horses but in serving his country to help repair the damage to devastated areas like Haiti. This is change America can believe in.”

In response to questions from incredulous reporters, the President cut short the press conference with this remark: “I can assure you that by the end of the month, you folks will be joining me in saying, ‘Brownie, you’re doing a heck of a job!’”

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happy birthday, george!

by jackie sheeler on January 28, 2010

George Heldgawm-george is the senior writer of satire on this blog and a very dear friend.

for today, the site has been renamed “get angry AT me”. watch the video if you want to know why.

happy birthday, george! i love you!

of course, this is not as good as making it to the party, but i guess it’ll last a bit longer…

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the sorry state of the union

by jackie sheeler on January 27, 2010

why wait for tonight’s politically correc speech full of half-truths and empty promises. here’s the real, sorry, crazy-making story:

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“breaking news” – climate change is a problem

by jackie sheeler on December 18, 2009

words almost fail me. so here are some words:

comments welcome. prayers needed. tears anticipated.

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where do i start?

by jackie sheeler on December 7, 2009

seems like just about everything is as fucked up as it can get. my old man used to say, “you and me till the wheels fall off, babe” — well, won’t be long now unless we make some major shifts.

like what? like not going into afghanistan, for starters. how did our brandy-new anti-war president come to believe that MORE troops will lead us to LESS war? who is really calling the shots in washington? is there some dick cheney lunatic behind the curtains?

jordan page thinks so:

if i wasn’t shitting my pants already, i would be after watching that video. this simply isn’t the country that i was born in. page says, “it’s gonna happen here” while the video shows how it’s ALREADY happening here.

if you’re free to go to DC this saturday (wish i was, i’d be there in a heartbeat) there will be a major protest at the white house:

Emergency Anti-War Rally at the White House against President Obama’s planned military escalation in Afghanistan

• WHEN: Saturday, December 12, 11:00 am to 4:00 pm (rain or shine)

• WHERE: Lafayette Park in Washington, DC, across from the White House

Speakers for the rally will include Rep. Dennis Kucinich (D-Ohio), former Rep. Cynthia McKinney, former Sen. Mike Gravel, three-time Nobel Peace Prize nominee Kathy Kelly, Pulitzer Prize winning journalist Chris Hedges, author David Swanson, Rev. Graylan Hagler, Capt. Ron Fisher, Gael Murphy (CODEPINK), Debra Sweet (World Can’t Wait), Elaine Brower (Military Families Speak Out), Brian Becker (A.N.S.W.E.R.), Mathis Chiroux (Iraq Veterans Against the War), among many other national peace leaders. Musicians Jordan Page, Head-Roc and others will perform. Check the website for updates.

Join us in our demand that President Obama must announce an immediate ceasefire in Iraq and Afghanistan to end the wars and order our troops home. He must stop Predator drone attacks and covert operations in Pakistan, and he must begin immediate reconstruction and recovery in war torn regions.

If the President does not meet these demands, he will face intensified opposition, with anti-war candidates prepared to defeat his war policy politically.

Along with the rally on December 12, the film “Rethink Afghanistan” will be shown Friday December 11, from 8:00 to 10:00 pm at Busboys & Poets, 14th and V Streets NW in Washington, DC.

please pass this information along.

meanwhile, uninsured americans continue to die of eminently curable diseases. hell, people with insurance are dying of eminently curable causes due to pre-existing conditions. some of those conditions include acne and living with an abusive spouse. no, i didn’t make this up; luckily my imagination isn’t quite that cruel.

more on healthcare tomorrow. today, let’s get the word out about saturday’s protest. target: two million bodies on the white house lawn saying NO. saying:

what do we want? peace! when do we want it? NOW!


over and out.


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Requiem [a guest post]

by George Held on December 2, 2009

editor’s note: i am far too sad to get angry today. many thanks to George Held for expressing the grief so many of us are feeling right now.

____________

The sun set last night on the Obama administration. When the President, at West Point, the cradle of our military leadership, announced that it was in “our vital interest” to send 30,000 more troops into Afghanistan, he showed himself unable to sit for a portrait in courage. He showed that he compares not with John F. Kennedy but with Lyndon B. Johnson, one of only three one-term presidents since Dwight D. Eisenhower finished his second term in 1960: Carter, Johnson, and GHW Bush. All failed to lead as necessary.

Like Johnson, Mr. Obama succumbed to the temptation to take an unpopular war on his shoulders and to escalate it, though each must have known that it would fracture his support so badly that he would sacrifice his dream of a second term. That is why Mr. Obama’s coal-black eyes, underlined with dark circles, burned just short of tearing as he somberly laid out his war agenda before the assembled Corps of Cadets last night.

Mr. Obama does not want that evening sun to set on his efforts, often indecisive, to lead the nation in a more progressive direction. But he fell for the lure of being a wartime leader and took, to the best of his ability, a military posture at the Point. Still, I suspect he knows better than to think that the US can defeat the elusive and committed Taliban in their unforgiving mountainous habitat any more than the Russians, with far more troops, could quell Afghanistan, where other foreign empires have also failed to win a war.\

That is why Mr. Obama, having issued fighting orders to the Cadets, could be seen mouthing “thank you” to each one he shook hands with as he came down from the rostrum and entered their ranks.

Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs not to reason why,
Theirs but to do & die. . . .

Yes, after having ordered them into the Valley of Death, Mr. Obama came down from the mountain, and the once-hopeful sun he had brought to office set.

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get us OUT of afghanistan. GET US OUT!

by jackie sheeler on November 30, 2009

from michael moore:

Dear President Obama,

Do you really want to be the new “war president”? If you go to West Point tomorrow night (Tuesday, 8pm) and announce that you are increasing, rather than withdrawing, the troops in Afghanistan, you are the new war president. Pure and simple. And with that you will do the worst possible thing you could do — destroy the hopes and dreams so many millions have placed in you. With just one speech tomorrow night you will turn a multitude of young people who were the backbone of your campaign into disillusioned cynics. You will teach them what they’ve always heard is true — that all politicians are alike. I simply can’t believe you’re about to do what they say you are going to do. Please say it isn’t so.  read more

THINGS YOU CAN DO RIGHT NOW: call the White House at 202-456-1111 or email the President.

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hikers in iran, iranians in guantanamo

by jackie sheeler on November 9, 2009

the (christian) iranian drug dealer mentioned in the video is abdul majid muhammed, who spent about six years (as far as i’ve been able to find out) at guantanamo before being released in 2008.

unlike the prisoners held at guantanamo, the three american hikers have received a number of visits, from their families as well as various diplomatic envoys, since being arrested on 7/31/09.

neither situation makes the other one OK — both are short-sighted and oppressive. but we can’t wave our dainty lace hankies and pretend to be wronged damsels in this case, after all the crimes this nation has perpetrated in the course of the so-called war on terrorism.

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Anh Cao Drummed Out of Republican Party

by Bill Britton on November 8, 2009

Washington — Representative Anh Cao of Louisiana, the only Republican to vote in favor of the health-care measure passed last night by the lower house, was formally drummed out of the party on Sunday morning. The formal ceremony was led by House minority whip Eric Cantor (R–VA). Cantor’s whip is similar to those once used by first mates on the Royal Navy’s sailing ships and are commonly called “cat-o’-nine-tails.”

catonineIn attendance, and adding a pleasant note to the proceedings, was the American Nazi Party’s Drum-and-Bugle Corps, which played “Whip It,” written by Jerry Casale and Mark Mothersbaugh, better known as the singing duo, Devo. In the background, Representative Michele Bachmann (R-MN) could be heard chanting, “Kill the bill, kill the bill.” Bachmann has been shouting her mantra since Thursday when she organized a large protest on Capitol Hill.

Blue Dog Democrat Bill Foster of Illinois expressed concern that Bachmann might now be rabid. “She certainly was frothing at the mouth earlier. I’m afraid that she might associate my first name with the word ‘bill’ as it relates to health care. After all, she is known to bite. 

President Obama called on the Democratic caucus before the House vote and urged its members to vote for the bill. Apparently this strategy worked when coupled with the well-known fact that House majority whip, James Clyburn (D–SC), keeps a cat-o’-twelve-tails in his desk.

Key to passage of the bill was an amendment to prohibit federal funds from being used to pay for abortions. Representative Jack Kingston (R–GA) said, “Abortions are in violation of God’s law. That Great Satan, your president, has done his best to move abortions out of alleyways where they belong. I’ve dedicated my 17 years in Congress to keeping them there.”

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Murdoch / O’Reilly Nuptials Set [a guest post]

by Bill Britton on November 7, 2009

New York — following six months of rumor, media mogul Rupert Murdoch and Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly announced wedding plans during a joint news conference. “We’re a natural fit,” said Murdoch. “And for those of you who seem somewhat aghast at this, there have been stranger bedfellows. Look at Barney Frank and his, um, ‘spouse,’ Fannie Mae executive Herb Moses.”

fauxThis will be Murdoch’s fourth marriage. His current wife, Wendi Deng, a director for MySpace in China, was less sanguine: “If Rupert wants to switch from Szechuan dining to street hotdogs, that’s his business, as long as he makes good on our pre-nup agreement.”

O’Reilly said he was “. . . floating on cloud-nine. Ever since I began working at Fox, I could sense a chemistry between Murdy and me, something beyond the fact that we both drench ourselves with Old Spice Body Spray. And, just to prove the point that old dogs can learn new tricks, on our wedding night we plan to switch from the ‘Swagger’ fragrance to ‘After Hours.’”

In an admission that his coming out registered more than a hint of irony with his viewers, O’Reilly said, “Over the last few months, I’ve conducted a dialogue with my inner being and come to recognize the plight of the—quote—‘other’ in American society, the minorities that make this country great. I’d even go to the White House and break bread with that colored boy, our President, as long as he doesn’t serve collard greens and chittlins.”

In the rear of the conference room, Sean Hannity, O’Reilly’s rival at Fox News, was seen in tears. “I thought Bill-O only had eyes for me. But I knew we were through when he refused to share his cherry wine cooler last week. And to add insult to injury, Rosie O’Donnell wants her leathers back.”

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