shop. that’s right. we ain’t gonna shop on black friday, the busiest mindless consumption day of the year, when millions of americans descend on the malls like so many mastercard-wielding locusts, scooping up disposable crap to wrap in disposable paper and fling underneath their disposable xmas trees. all in honor of their lord jesus christ.
but in this, our year of ultimate economic defilement, we will turn it all around by embracing adbuster’s brilliant buy nothing day program, amen. citizen actions are planned in all fifty states (well, maybe not wasilla) and you can either join a scheduled protest or create one of your own.
don’t just sit home all ajitter with shopping withdrawal, use your imagination! people carry out some great guerilla actions at the malls. my favorite, a couple years ago, was where some guys took a hundred bucks in one-dollar bills, went to the third tier of a mall and dropped the bills one by one down into the shopping mob, which (sadly and predictably) went nuts, people falling all over one another in a high-speed cash grab. for DOLLAR BILLS. you can’t even mail three letters for a buck, can’t get the smallest coffee starbucks sells. they taped the dollarbill feeding frenzy, but i can’t put my hands on that video right now.
instead of wreaking havoc at the mall, you might want to build your own very special lawn ornament:
if you’re lucky enough to be in nyc on black friday, you can dance your debt away in union square with rev billy and his church of stop shopping. on regular working days the good rev is busy doing cash-register exorcisms and orchestrating synchronized cellphone havoc at the disney shops.
certain people in your life just gotta get something? then give something real. mow your cousin’s lawn, shovel your grandmother’s driveway, hand-write a five-page letter to your friend who lives across the street. take your sister to the movies. trim the claws of your mother’s unruly cat. and so forth. if giving charitably “in honor of” is more your thing, check out the heifer project.
angelo verga, a brilliant nyc poet, wrote this in honor of BND eight years ago, and it’s never gotten stale:
A Checklist for Not Buying Things
Ask yourself: where was this made?
Could I borrow this, and save?
What will happen if it breaks?
Ask yourself: can I get along without it?
If I wait a day will my need to have this fade?
Ask yourself: how well is this thing made?
And if it turns out to be shit,
Ask yourself: can I get it fixed, replaced?
If I buy this now, will I need to buy a mate
to go with it? Is it complete?
Are they coming out with an upgrade,
or variation next week, even cheaper?
Wouldn’t something more dear convey cachet?
Ask yourself: how many of these do I already possess?
Have any made me happy?
Will one more make me less angry?
Less fat? Less ugly? Less lonely?
Angelo Verga
originally published on poetz.com, 11/00
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There will be no shopping for me on Friday. I plan to stay home and read and catch up on movies.
I never shop on Black Friday, not that I do much shopping at all. But on Black Friday you could get stomped trying to get into the Wal-Mart!
I just saw the documentary, “Reverend Billy and the Church of Stop Shopping”. I wish I could say it was hilarious, but it was just too true.
We are concentrating our gifts for our kids on things that they have been wanting for awhile. All gifts are bought thoughtfully considering what each child really wants. But no cheap plastic toys bought mindlessly just for the sake of lots of presents under the tree! We will be spending a bit less this year, and I’m wondering what those of you with kids are doing to make things magical for your kids so they don’t have negative feelings about the day because they’re used to more gifts.
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