MONKS OFFER NEW SITE FOR SOCIAL NETWORKING [a guest post]

Lexington, KY (INS), June 6. Trappist monks at their Kentucky monastery have announced DunceBook, a new alternative to Facebook, MySpace, and Twitter. Living under the Rule of St. Benedict, Trappists must earn their keep and some monasteries make bread, jam, or beer.

As the Reverend Albinus Cassock, abbot of Golgotha Monastery, explained, “In the current digital age, our brothers have turned to high tech for our living: We offer an ecumenical site for all dunces who need another place to tell likeminded folk about their daily ablutions, passing of wind, and eliminations.” A modest fee will help to keep the site on the Internet and offer users a link to the Divine through social networking, “a sort of online miracle,” as the abbot put it.

“Of course, many Catholic users of our site will recognize the name DunceBook as an allusion to Duns Scotus, the great theologian of the Middle Ages.

“Brother George, our chief IT officer here at the monastery, wanted to call the site AssBook, on the premise that it would allude to the Savior on his ass, which we celebrate on Palm Sunday.” But, the abbot continued, “Brother George has a profane sense of humor and we did not want to offend potential users by suggesting that anyone who does social networking with us is an asshole, er, ass.”

Dish, the online trade journal for the industry, estimates that DunceBook has unlimited potential for growth. Dish editor Dinty Flensberg writes, “None of the other sites, like FaceBook, have anything remotely spiritual to offer, so DunceBook can clean up with all the lapsed Catholics, high Epicopalians, fringe Fundamentalists, and Goths who are looking for something higher in their online social networking.”

“By the way,” Mr. Flensberg asked INS, “do you want to be my friend? If so, go to www.duncebook.god and check me out.”

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